The moon seems to be setting now…..

4 Apr

Ok, so now that I have pointedly calmed myself for a bit, I can say what happened with the EX-boyfriend.

The breaking point was through email. I wrote him a lengthy and sweet, yet firm email on my feelings about him and the stupid party, to me it is important that he knows why I was so mad and why I’ve been distant, and I told him EVERYTHING, straight out. The reason I did it by email [and I let him know] is because whenever I tried to call he would pointedly make our call short and call me by my name instead of what he usually calls me “honey”, so that pisses me off, and then he says “I’ll call you later, I’m at work” and he said that twice, on two different days and did he call? Nope. So I got extremely mad, and fed up with it because I was trying here. So I sent him that email, and he sent one back saying I was utterly ridicules, that my jealousy was stupid, [ex-cuse me, he only LIVES with three other girls….wtf would I think?] and then at the end he said that he didn’t want to deal with “this” anymore and that was it he basically ended it with “take care” and to me, that was a blow. A major one.  

So, if you ever want to know what it feels like to put your feelings on the line?  You can think of it as ripping an imaginary heart from your body [willingly] that contains all your feelings, thoughts and emotions, putting it on a silver platter and then laying it in the middle of the road…..yeah some cars might miss it, or even diverge from it, but sooner or later…..

Needless to say, I am not speaking to the bf any longer, I’ve cut communications with him, I haven’t and in the last 4 days he’s texted me twice. Yesterday, so I don’t feel a particular need to “deal with that”. If he wants me NOW he’s got to work REALLY hard at it, and if he isn’t planning on begging, getting down on his knees and the insufferable things I’m going to do to him, then I am not even going to waste my time. Because it is going to take A LOT for him to hurt like he hurt me.

Any who, yesterday me and Clarissa went to the beach  J

I am totally happy because it was awesome, and it was like the perfect day to go too, and I have been dying to go for a while and Ideally I would’ve gone w/ the BF but NOOOOO, every time I told him I wanted to do a picnic thing, he was either too busy or working or “we’ll eventually” do it attitude but did we EVER do it? No. I was hoping he’d be really romantic and surprise me or something. But regardless of the hints I gave him, he didn’t do it, provably didn’t consider it. I mean I just think it’s a little boring when all you do with your babe is watch movies…I almost felt like my brain was slowly washing away. It’s a totally weird feeling. Lol. Either way, it doesn’t matter now….me and clarissa did go together, and we brought a bunch of fun-we even had soup! Lol…tomato basil of course J and it was so awesome. We loved it. Oh and we took tons of pics! TONS! Lol. I’ll put them up when I can, but we were so cute altogether. And we fed the birds that came to us, and before we knew it there were like 20 of them, and then when the sun went down and it became extremely cold we played truth or dare. it was hilarious.

Ha ha, good times, it was just what I needed J

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