seriously…i was reading some blogs the other day and i just cant believe how concetted people get when they start getting like thousands of hits a day….i mean ok…calm down.  you are big…on the internet…..whohoo.

i dont know….it just feels like some of them are so anti social that the blog gives life as to why….

like i commented on one guys blog about his grammer [which was excelent!] and i also gave him an opinion on something, notthing too out there or anything, just another view on the subject and whenever i do this i dont ever intend it as a harsh thing but i guess he took it the wrong way and gave me some sassy remark back…..its like ok…dude..no need to get all defensive, guess he cant take constructive critisism. after all this is the internet….why would i REALLY care?

anyways, me and my non bf are going to go to that dinner show, supposed to be our “second date” lol we always said we’d go to this and that and its just kinda funny that we are making tha tour supposed second date, well we just werent supposed to date, ever. sooo yeah this was the second time we were planning to see each other again as a “date”…anyways the event is semi-formal and so we went to the mall today and had a blast, went to A.E and he got this really cute dress shirt, i like how it looks on him, makes him look so dressy. And well tomorow we are goign to have so much fun and i dont know what i am going to wear yet but well…i guess we’ll see tom.

so he’s made me some really cute pics, and we are always so cute together, omg….i miss him right now. well i mean hes so sweet. he really is.

so i’m making like a little book for us, telling him day-by-day stuff that we do, kinda like a diary but i am only writting to him “liek today we did..” and so on and so forth, i am also going to include some stuff in there, like from places we’ve been, things i’ve written him, etc. and one day, i will give it to him lol.

yep yep. wel its kinda late and i want to get some sleep and to be honest this has been in my drafts folder for like ever. so…nite nite.

Sad sad and looking around
Cant focus somehow.
Waiting and waiting
Wait for it to end
But oh there….it comes again and again.
How can it be so lame
So insecure
So questioning
As if it were a game?
It isn’t
Or cant you see?
The joy that it brings
You might be blind
But you have eyes
And sadly
They happen to be open
Most of the time.
I cannot believe…
The way you behave.
The sadness you bring
The fake tears you say that you shed.
Barbaric somehow
The thought of how now
The nation has come to an end
To think in itself
Has become a test of the will.
The system
Many have said
Is corrupt in more than one way
The game they play with our heads
Is more of a lesson they say
Those excuses they give
Come on, not all of us have forgot how to think.
How to form a thought
Is easy enough
It’s the will that it takes to bring it up during talk
That most people lack.
So now let me say
The unbiased truth
That thing people have
Its between morals and proof.
Its that little voice inside your head
Telling you things that are right
Or What to do instead.
You haven’t forgotten that?
Wait we happen to be in quite a lot…
So
Maybe you have.

Love is a thought
Not just a word, more meaning
That justifies us

It’s a story about you and I
How lovely that first sign
How curious at first look
Was the love between me and you
It’s a story simply told
It’s about a boy
A girl
And the bold.
About the you and the me
About how fun we can be
It’s a story to tell
Fun
And since the dawn of time
Always prevailed.
It’s a story that’s been written about
Many times
Around and around
the world it has gone
To china, India and even Milan.
Its about two main characters
The boy and the girl
Who usually talked late into the night
And missed each other all the time.
This story also grows
It’s already been a month
And the pages are much more!
There is drama, and fights and everything nice
There is action and rattling and kissing delights
There is love and pure goodness
Moments galore
It’s that type of story that’s meant
To be told.

[original image can be found here]

“Here In Your Arms”

I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are…. Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep… here

Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Our lips, can touch
Our lips, can touch…here

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s hello I miss you, I miss you
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Here in your arms.
Here in your arms.

If I could categorize everything in the world into sections you would be placed under “evil”

Next to addiction and not far from obsession.

You gnaw at me with desire: through anger and lust

Afterwards, left in the dust.

You gnaw at me with your teeth in my head: when I’m hungry…depressed.

Somehow you always end up in my bed

In and out, your repetitive pattern….that now has become part of my body like no other.

My thoughts, feelings, emotions become you

Even sleep makes no sense, you hardly let me rest.

From that sly smile, those conniving eyes, your luscious tongue and I find myself asking you to please stay a while.

In and Out, just like the breaths that we take…..after each session the feelings sway.

Yet you can almost make a promise lame by guaranteeing that tomorrow will be just the same.

Hey Hey

Just here in the library…..i KNOW…weird right? Well I’m just here, chilling because I actually did my homework at home and i have it in my notebook..yep that’s right. And I am so going to turn it in today. Yep. I’m so excited, I’m doing exeptionally well in psych, I just know the stuff, I listen and I retain it…maybe because it facinates me so much I guess…idk. I really am loving it though and my teacher is really great…..

So my lesbian lover and I were talking last Tuesday and she was telling about the stars and how there was going to be a once in a lifetime experience thing going on that nite from 1 am to 5am and so her and I were so excited and she was telling me how she was going to go and invited me but I said I couldn’t because I just didn’t know and I had some responsibilities at home and stuff {mainly to be there} and so I went home all sad because I really wanted to see the stars and gosh this was Hailey’s comet type deal…..so I was REALLY sad I was going to miss it. So I got home and started talking to my PIC and I told him about it and we ended up going and so we were there from like midnight to three-ish I think. And it was amazing. We laughed and I read him a Cuban folktale story and we laughed harder and then we just talked about stuff and I got paranoid every time he looked at me because he only looked at me cuz I got paranoid….lol….it’s awkward and you know me and awkward moments….not good. Haha

I’m so excited for him and I, we’re planning out so much stuff, its awesome.

Oh that reminds me I want to go to a Halloween party but cant yet….i don’t have one. I really wanted just those pics that come with the party….

Uggg ten minutes to go till class…..

Ok

So onto another topic…..ummm..oh my lesbian lover and I have a stalker….ugg…stupid boys. This guy I’ve known since like last year, we met here and he seemed nice enough but truth be told…he’s obsessive and compulsive and he thinks that I’m going to give him a back massage somehow [you think that sounds weird….you have NO idea the types of convo he has w/ me..gross] so I’m just not talking to him but he likes waits outside my env. Science class and he like asks me what’s up and what I’m doing and every week it’s the same “like…going to class” hello!

My lesbian lover’s stalker is a bit weirder….he’s IN our class and last week he asked her to star bucks after class and she went thinking it was innocent enough but he totally came on to her and to tell you the truth the guy always creped me out, and he’s always asking me if she’s coming to class and I’m like  “k dude, idk”  so anyways…..

Missing my hunny bunny here. Well I’m off to class

“There was no place to go

Her heart was her soul

And many once said

Follow it whole”

«Dai»

Confession Time….

Say..hypothetically that I was seeing this guy. The type of guy I would never have thought I’d be dating…ever in a million years. Let’s say my friends and family are very shocked…and let’s say…for argument’s sake this guy and I really like each other…let’s say it’s been two weeks that have felt amazing and like its been a day because we feel it’s been such a short while. And also, lets say that this certain person and I are just friends…we made an arrangement to simply be friends, give each other some time and get to know each other. Say it was going very well and say the guy made a wonderful impression and was as passionate as he was intriguing….say we could talk well into the night, missed each other all the time, provably even when we were together or next to each other because we would just think about how the time goes by entirely way too fast, say he was the type to have roses of a kind that you had never seen or heard of arranged for you in a vase of a particular shape that happened to be odd and brought it to you as a surprise….just because he thought you were so particular yourself…these little details he takes care of. Then say you met his brothers and sister one night and cannot picture ever not hanging out all together at some point….say that when you and this particular person talk in a sense of time….it is always about how “We have tomorrow….and next month and next year” never oh…we have tomorrow….and leave it at that….no there is a certain certainty that comes when this guy regards this girl…and lets say that at night time its difficult to sleep because they think of each other, and cloud each others mind and hate the thought of one leaving each other…..

Say all this was real and was happening…what would it be called? Given a name..in any language….what would it be? Could you say it was a definite relationship? Could you say they were headed down the long haul? Could there be rings in the future for these two crazy kids? Well the family approves on both sides, and the couples find themselves entirely enticing….almost inseparable…could this work out?

Or does one have to have a fight?

DOES there have to be a fight?

She often hypothetically wonders…whether fights are good or not in a relationship….she does know however that fights are almost necessary because after one the couple may form a bond…it’s difficult for couples how have never had a fight because they are usually keeping things inside and when they do have fights, the fight is the last thing the couple does..plus you need to know if he is willing to go through a fight…there are steps you know? After the fight usually comes The silent treatment, then followed by is the I’m walking put the door if you don’t follow me I’ll kick you action, then he follows you and you send him back because all you needed to know was that he’d follow you….but afterwards you’ll start to cry, hopefully he starts to think and when you get home hopefully there’s a message on the answering machine for you from him telling you he’s sorry. At which point you will delete it and go on to bed but you wont be able to sleep because you’ll know there’s this something hanging over your heads, he’ll then come over at 3 am because you love that number and he’ll knock on your door or throw pebbles at your window until you come down and you’ll say you’re sorry too, and realize he’s a great guy given the fight wasn’t about him cheating….and so in that case you’ll both want each other extremely bad and go up to the room and do your thing.

But the exact opposite can happen where one does realize the guy is an idiot and leaves. So fights can be good or bad….hopefully this particular couple has a few fights that work for the better of their relationship and they end up strengthening their bond….hopefully they spend lots of time together, go out and explore like she has wanted for so long [she never had the right guy to do I with] take lots of pics, and do lots of random things, enjoy with family and most importantly bask in each other’s company as long as they can…..and maybe, this is it.

She kind of fears this is going to be the one. She has such a strong feeling that the way things are going, both parties making such a big effort and commitment, and plans with her family and his that…things wont end a year from now, and even a year from now it seems as if she and him will be there any minute….it feels like time is speeding up. Feels like they have so many plans and want to do so much together…that they have booked a year already….and even though she doesnt know what to say, or how to feel she does know that he is worth a shot….feels wonderful she thinks….to know that she’ll have someone that can talk to her, be romantic and stubborn and inpatient. To know that this someone is ready to be by her side, till the end….to be her partner in crime.

Because they have tomorrow, and next month…and next year.♥

“War doesnt determine who’s right ….determines whose left.”

Lost times
Spare dimes
Looking for these “feelings”
And words that rhyme
I cant leave it all in my head
And on paper it’s just a mess
So what to do what to do
Pacing is really of no use
Cant you see?
Oh wait you’re blind
So…
Nevermind
I lost my train of thought
Happens a lot
“its ok”
The doctor’s all say
But is medication really the way?
Autism. ADHD
They say they have it down to a Tee
But really what’s there to do?
Seriously….just let your kids loose.
They’re four or five, maybe six
Focus? Eh…not their thing.
To bring them down look at yourself
Who’s to say what defines mental health?
Oh wait you’re blind
So…
Nevermind.