Here in your Arms by HelloGoodbye

 

[original image can be found here]

“Here In Your Arms”

I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are…. Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep… here

Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Our lips, can touch
Our lips, can touch…here

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s “Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly”
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s hello I miss you, I miss you
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Here in your arms.
Here in your arms.

Sections Erate Xilosophers [wrote this a while back, one of my first poems]

If I could categorize everything in the world into sections you would be placed under “evil”

Next to addiction and not far from obsession.

You gnaw at me with desire: through anger and lust

Afterwards, left in the dust.

You gnaw at me with your teeth in my head: when I’m hungry…depressed.

Somehow you always end up in my bed

In and out, your repetitive pattern….that now has become part of my body like no other.

My thoughts, feelings, emotions become you

Even sleep makes no sense, you hardly let me rest.

From that sly smile, those conniving eyes, your luscious tongue and I find myself asking you to please stay a while.

In and Out, just like the breaths that we take…..after each session the feelings sway.

Yet you can almost make a promise lame by guaranteeing that tomorrow will be just the same.

Eh….what is the cure for waiting?

Hey Hey

 

Just here in the library…..i KNOW…weird right? Well I’m just here, chilling because I actually did my homework at home and i have it in my notebook..yep that’s right. And I am so going to turn it in today. Yep. I’m so excited, I’m doing exeptionally well in psych, I just know the stuff, I listen and I retain it…maybe because it facinates me so much I guess…idk. I really am loving it though and my teacher is really great…..

 

So my lesbian lover and I were talking last Tuesday and she was telling about the stars and how there was going to be a once in a lifetime experience thing going on that nite from 1 am to 5am and so her and I were so excited and she was telling me how she was going to go and invited me but I said I couldn’t because I just didn’t know and I had some responsibilities at home and stuff {mainly to be there} and so I went home all sad because I really wanted to see the stars and gosh this was Hailey’s comet type deal…..so I was REALLY sad I was going to miss it. So I got home and started talking to my PIC and I told him about it and we ended up going and so we were there from like midnight to three-ish I think. And it was amazing. We laughed and I read him a Cuban folktale story and we laughed harder and then we just talked about stuff and I got paranoid every time he looked at me because he only looked at me cuz I got paranoid….lol….it’s awkward and you know me and awkward moments….not good. Haha

 

I’m so excited for him and I, we’re planning out so much stuff, its awesome.

 

Oh that reminds me I want to go to a Halloween party but cant yet….i don’t have one. I really wanted just those pics that come with the party….

 

Uggg ten minutes to go till class…..

 

Ok

So onto another topic…..ummm..oh my lesbian lover and I have a stalker….ugg…stupid boys. This guy I’ve known since like last year, we met here and he seemed nice enough but truth be told…he’s obsessive and compulsive and he thinks that I’m going to give him a back massage somehow [you think that sounds weird….you have NO idea the types of convo he has w/ me..gross] so I’m just not talking to him but he likes waits outside my env. Science class and he like asks me what’s up and what I’m doing and every week it’s the same “like…going to class” hello!

 

My lesbian lover’s stalker is a bit weirder….he’s IN our class and last week he asked her to star bucks after class and she went thinking it was innocent enough but he totally came on to her and to tell you the truth the guy always creped me out, and he’s always asking me if she’s coming to class and I’m like  “k dude, idk”  so anyways…..

 

Missing my hunny bunny here. Well I’m off to class

Her heart was her soul….

“There was no place to go

Her heart was her soul

And many once said

Follow it whole”

«Dai»

 

 

Confession Time….

 

Say..hypothetically that I was seeing this guy. The type of guy I would never have thought I’d be dating…ever in a million years. Let’s say my friends and family are very shocked…and let’s say…for argument’s sake this guy and I really like each other…let’s say it’s been two weeks that have felt amazing and like its been a day because we feel it’s been such a short while. And also, lets say that this certain person and I are just friends…we made an arrangement to simply be friends, give each other some time and get to know each other. Say it was going very well and say the guy made a wonderful impression and was as passionate as he was intriguing….say we could talk well into the night, missed each other all the time, provably even when we were together or next to each other because we would just think about how the time goes by entirely way too fast, say he was the type to have roses of a kind that you had never seen or heard of arranged for you in a vase of a particular shape that happened to be odd and brought it to you as a surprise….just because he thought you were so particular yourself…these little details he takes care of. Then say you met his brothers and sister one night and cannot picture ever not hanging out all together at some point….say that when you and this particular person talk in a sense of time….it is always about how “We have tomorrow….and next month and next year” never oh…we have tomorrow….and leave it at that….no there is a certain certainty that comes when this guy regards this girl…and lets say that at night time its difficult to sleep because they think of each other, and cloud each others mind and hate the thought of one leaving each other…..

 

Say all this was real and was happening…what would it be called? Given a name..in any language….what would it be? Could you say it was a definite relationship? Could you say they were headed down the long haul? Could there be rings in the future for these two crazy kids? Well the family approves on both sides, and the couples find themselves entirely enticing….almost inseparable…could this work out?

 

Or does one have to have a fight?

DOES there have to be a fight?

 

She often hypothetically wonders…whether fights are good or not in a relationship….she does know however that fights are almost necessary because after one the couple may form a bond…it’s difficult for couples how have never had a fight because they are usually keeping things inside and when they do have fights, the fight is the last thing the couple does..plus you need to know if he is willing to go through a fight…there are steps you know? After the fight usually comes The silent treatment, then followed by is the I’m walking put the door if you don’t follow me I’ll kick you action, then he follows you and you send him back because all you needed to know was that he’d follow you….but afterwards you’ll start to cry, hopefully he starts to think and when you get home hopefully there’s a message on the answering machine for you from him telling you he’s sorry. At which point you will delete it and go on to bed but you wont be able to sleep because you’ll know there’s this something hanging over your heads, he’ll then come over at 3 am because you love that number and he’ll knock on your door or throw pebbles at your window until you come down and you’ll say you’re sorry too, and realize he’s a great guy given the fight wasn’t about him cheating….and so in that case you’ll both want each other extremely bad and go up to the room and do your thing.

 

But the exact opposite can happen where one does realize the guy is an idiot and leaves. So fights can be good or bad….hopefully this particular couple has a few fights that work for the better of their relationship and they end up strengthening their bond….hopefully they spend lots of time together, go out and explore like she has wanted for so long [she never had the right guy to do I with] take lots of pics, and do lots of random things, enjoy with family and most importantly bask in each other’s company as long as they can…..and maybe, this is it.

 

She kind of fears this is going to be the one. She has such a strong feeling that the way things are going, both parties making such a big effort and commitment, and plans with her family and his that…things wont end a year from now, and even a year from now it seems as if she and him will be there any minute….it feels like time is speeding up. Feels like they have so many plans and want to do so much together…that they have booked a year already….and even though she doesnt know what to say, or how to feel she does know that he is worth a shot….feels wonderful she thinks….to know that she’ll have someone that can talk to her, be romantic and stubborn and inpatient. To know that this someone is ready to be by her side, till the end….to be her partner in crime.

 

Because they have tomorrow, and next month…and next year.♥

 

 

Spare Dimes

“War doesnt determine who’s right ….determines whose left.”

Lost times
Spare dimes
Looking for these “feelings”
And words that rhyme
I cant leave it all in my head
And on paper it’s just a mess
So what to do what to do
Pacing is really of no use
Cant you see?
Oh wait you’re blind
So…
Nevermind
I lost my train of thought
Happens a lot
“its ok”
The doctor’s all say
But is medication really the way?
Autism. ADHD
They say they have it down to a Tee
But really what’s there to do?
Seriously….just let your kids loose.
They’re four or five, maybe six
Focus? Eh…not their thing.
To bring them down look at yourself
Who’s to say what defines mental health?
Oh wait you’re blind
So…
Nevermind.

The difference between right and wrong is really only a few letters, and usually a blur.

excerpt..from my life: ” we talked late into the night and every time we were together i just wanted to hold onto you  and hug you and when we did my heart [would] skip a beat. i mean..dammit dai. you made me stop thinking logically and just listen directly to my heart, i could care less about anything else you made me laugh harder then i had for the past X [amount of ] years and everyday i yearn for you.you practically made a grown man feel like a little kid again.”- Vinvin to Dai on a late saturday night.

 

I’m here all confused

Wondering about the wearabouts of you

I don’t feel good

Not tonight

My words suck

And I cant write

And i cant find any time….

Actually there is way too much

What’s up with that?

Usually we always say

How time has once more flown away

And now I sit here

Writing to you

Some words I know to be true

But even this honesty isnt that good

It hurts others too

Much

It’s hard to say

Air escapes my way

And I look up

And notice the sky

But wait

Where are the stars this night?

I am reminded of you

Gosh is this true?

What is this feeling for you?

Why I am suddenly without a clue?

I guess it’s not supposed to make sense

At least that’s what everyone says

I’m going crazy cant you see

Even breathing is hard for me

I know you feel this way too

Which is what makes me think of you

Which is what is also hard

I cant just give up my past

I need to know that this is real

Need to feel just what you feel

Need to see what this can bring

Might even need a promise ring

I told my friends about us today

Just like you did yesterday

That is how lost I really was

Enough to comment on Us.

Before we get into this crazy ordeal

We made a deal

And I gotta say

Even if you don’t decide to stay

During these lonely 7 days

I’m missing you

Looking for you

Replaying our memories

And dates

Over and over again

Inside my head

I read our conversations and laugh

At the silly things that we said

At the embarrassing parking lot struggle

The ticket that got away

And we swore It would never sway

Yet we got that

What can I say

Together we r the best.

But now I sit here thinking of what we could be

The nights we would have

Every moment

Sure to be better than the last

And I so want that with you

I know we could too.

I’s hard to think without you

I really miss you now

Wish I could tell you how

I cant tell you how much I keep thinking

Of you

Of how I miss you

Love your hugs-always amazing and true

Especially adoring

 how we can just be together

Watching tv

Doing nothing

I cant tell you how much I wanted to kiss you

Or how crazy your hand in mine makes me

Because it’s wrong

This whole thing is wrong

Wrong to think

Wrong to feel

And yet

I ask

What the heck is tomorrow going to yield?

And why

Yes

Why

Does this–me and you

Feel so right?

And you got a smile..that can light up this whole town….

” dreaming of the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time…..Think i know where you belong , think i know it’s with me”- You belong with me by Taylor Swift

so…..i’m in trouble……. with my feelings.

Yeah, I don’t know what I am going to do because it is so confusing, I like this guy, who likes me and we’re going out, not officially and I’m going to meet his parents…..BUTTTT…..i also like this guy who I just recently went out with and my BF knows about him, he just doesn’t know I like him…and I can’t tell him, my bf is head over heels in love with me and I just keep wondering, what is stopping me from being head over heels in love with him? There’s attraction, there’s chemistry, there’s love…. there’s passion…..i really don’t know what’s wrong, and I can’t logically see the problem, BUT of course…it just so happens to be an illogical problem does it not? But I really do like my bf and I am very happy with him, I know he’ll take care of me and we’ll be happy ultimately, after A LOT of trials, and I am very willing to be there for him, what I’m not willing to do is be let down. If I could trust him through everything maybe things would be different, but he’s faulted 3 times on something that you should not fault even once in. And the third time, he just got lucky.  My parents and him don’t get along just because of those faulty things and also because he’s still married, yeah they’re separated and most likely he hates her now and doesn’t want to talk to her ever again and they are going through the divorce papers, but he isn’t the “go getter” type unless you push him, and I can’t always push, sometimes I’m the one that needs to be pushed and I just don’t know how compatible “exactly alike” is.

On the other hand, the other guy is great in every way, and doesn’t have that which I have mentioned, however he’s older than I’d prefer which isn’t a problem, he’s just getting ready for marriage and I am so not ready for that. But he does have a lot of plusses….that he rocks my socks :] lol, mainly he’s a great guy even though he doesn’t think so, I do. He is really sweet and if he actually put thought into it he would make any girl happy, he’s got a dirty mind just like me but he’s not exactly like me, I know we would disagree on a lot of stuff and have fights some times, but I know that we make each other melt. That we could never stay mad at each other, he and I share some similarities but something else is that he has a GF and I’m not sure how happy they are together….but he seems happy yet he says things that sometimes confuse me and Idk if he’s messing with my mind or of he means them, because I AM so sure he knows I have a crush on him and I don’t know if he has one on me but I kind of feel like he does and when I think about It I’m happy for an instant after that I worry because I want to be with him but I don’t want to be without my bf, my bf rocks too you know . But I honestly don’t know what to do, Me and the other guy have made plans already to hang out several times , we’re going to go makes s’mores together [it’s kind of our thing…and it’s weird that we have a thing] and then we have this dinner who done it show that we’re really excited about and idk….i’m anticipating that but everyday we talk I get more and more anxious to be with him, we always have so much fun together and I love every moment of it. I also love being with my bf, last time I even considered leaving a guy for another guy….was because I was in an unhappy seemingly happy relationship, but that’s not the case.

Plus i honestly don’t think the other guy would fight for me….if I’m going to leave my current BF, this other guy needs to give me a damn good reason …he needs to fight for who he loves, whether that’s me or his GF

Plus…another provability is that I want what I cant have.

But what made me write this post is the fact that him and I were talking yesterday and this was our convo:

[10/13/2009 11:54:25 PM] HIM: tell me more

[10/13/2009 11:54:27 PM] HIM: about this friend?

[10/13/2009 11:54:27 PM] ME: s

[10/13/2009 11:54:30 PM] ME: lol

[10/13/2009 11:54:31 PM] ME: she’s taken

[10/13/2009 11:54:34 PM] ME: sorry

[10/13/2009 11:54:38 PM] HIM: all the good ones are

[10/13/2009 11:54:42 PM] ME: welll

[10/13/2009 11:54:42 PM] HIM: seriously

[10/13/2009 11:54:43 PM] ME: yeah

[10/13/2009 11:54:45 PM] HIM: its like the story of my life

[10/13/2009 11:54:47 PM] ME: lol

[10/13/2009 11:54:49 PM] ME: AND mine

[10/13/2009 11:54:51 PM] HIM: i meet someone

[10/13/2009 11:54:52 PM] HIM: fall for someone

[10/13/2009 11:54:54 PM] HIM: and she’s taken

And then he wouldn’t say who this girl was….so I honestly don’t know what to think about it, but I know I don’t want to loose him as a friend.

True Loves First Kiss…

A girl and a boy
Lovely this plot
In the beginning were
Swinging in thought.
He and Her were never alike
Always fighting, and shouting
Yet it was evident and true
That they were the bestest friends that
they knew
some even thought
they were a little more than that
and then the feelings had left
as their first fight of the day
was about to take place
Compromised they were
Him to Australia and
the bad boy to her
but together they always remained
the nights specially held
that feeling so well
laughter was shared
Flirting went on
but both knew the game
and nothing was done.
Although she would think

Of what might’ve been
That’s wrong
She would say
To wrong to write down
But when just that same day
She had found
That inside her
A part wanted him
She did not know why
And she did not profess
Oh the feeling so rare
The thoughts were despair
She wanted to stop
But where to..could she run?
There was no place to go
Her heart was her soul
And many once said
Follow it whole
So she walked to his place
Knocked on the door
Let down her hair
And prepared
To tell him the truth
When He came out and she knew…
“I’ve been missing you”
She practically yelled
And he had to stand back
But another instant passed
She was in his arms.
It is what it is
And when their gazes met
Her lips were on his
It was raining that day
Pouring instead
The sunshine’s not out
And it’s not making my day
But as soon as she felt
The warmth he emits
She knew this was finally
True loves first kiss.

Leaning On the Very Earth…L.O.V.E

This is a story of fruit

A story of sweetness

A story of truth.

And just for the record

I wanted to say

That life isn’t simple

And there are things that will happen

and some will go through

but that lovely night,

I didn’t expect you.

It started out like any day

With one thought going round and round in my head

I was anxious, but sound

Thinking about how lonely I was found

 Then a thought came to mind

And it was all you

You were all that I saw

And all that I knew

So I look at the dartboard

I throw my own dice

I’m making the move

And closing my eyes

I hope for the best

And let the dice fall

I’m making this move

I’m giving my all.

I hoped it was good

I had my heart at my throat

And even when I faltered

You never let go.

That was when I knew

You were true

As True to your heart

As I was to you.

I knew this the instant

You knew me so well

That you never resisted

The wish I threw down into the Well

Kiss me in the rain

I said

By the train

Is ok

Round the corner

Don’t get caught

We’re insane…

Was just a thought

That came to my mind

On that wonderful lovely night

He puts the “wonder” in wonderfull :)

i LOVE this guy….

Sometimes i feel like we are SO meant to be

And that is a little scary……

But all in all…..i have the best feeling of us working out at the end…through it all…and some people might even call that love…..